![]() Better spending time with sexy woman FRIEND. Shortly after I returned home I got a text from him that said “Been spending time with sexy woman. He’s been as starved for contact as I have been the warmth of flesh and breath on the skin. We caressed each other for a long, long time. So we spent 7 hours together, we talked a lot more. He told me today I’m sexually submissive and it turns him on. He takes me down and drives me wild but he doesn’t make love to me. Alex is an animal who stalks me in hotel rooms. I would like to say we were driven by some new-found intimacy and made sweet love with tears in our eyes or something. He did that when I thought he was just taking a breather from talking. He gets this watchful, speculative look on his face when he’s getting ready to pounce – and he gets quiet. He talked and I listened until his words ran out. We’ve been meeting when we can for a few months but today it was almost too much, too intense. I understand why he always looks so sad now and I have compassion for him. Nothing he revealed to me was a surprise but I suppose we are earning each other’s trust a bit. (Mostly with the hope and expectation he would be equally mindful of my privacy.) So he told me a lot about himself and his life. I decided when I met him that I would be super respectful of his privacy by not looking him up online or giving in to any curiosity about his wife by looking her up on social media or anything. He told me more about himself and his life. He must take Viagra or something, right? We’re both in our 40s, how can he go so long, so tirelessly?Īfter “Round 1” we laid there cuddling, kissing, trying to cool off without letting go. I always feel like we’re doing the predator/prey dance until he takes me down then drives me wild. That being said, Alex is an animal and that’s something I’ve never experienced before. I’ve been very fortunate in that respect. I never felt as if I missed out on trying anything that got my interest. ![]() I’ve had a couple of lovers in my life and a couple of husbands, sex has been great and even, at times, spectacular. ![]() Kissing me and positioning me on the bed while growling my name he drove himself in hard and we were off to our own world again. He just grabbed me and started pulling off my clothes. Good God, this man is too much! He shocks me with his aggression, every time. He just sat naked on the bed staring at me until I put my purse down. He seemed more sad when I first walked into the hotel room but he never gave me a chance to ask him. ![]() I couldn’t wait to see him again.Īlex has a sadness in his eyes that makes me want to knit him a sweater or bake him cookies sometimes. Husband is gone for a few days, Alex and I spent the afternoon together. Mellow, relaxed – feeling like the Cheshire Cat. It’s after midnight so I guess it’s technically Sunday but I’m still up on Saturday night. I’m conflicted and eating my own head over this. The fact that he won’t – that he can’t now and never would have even when he could is almost too much to cope with right now. ![]() Part of me is broken over this because I needed him to be angry, to fight me over it – to fight for me. We finally called time-out and retreated to our separate corners after he insisted he was strong enough and wanted our life to continue as it had all along. What hurt most, for me, was the kicked dog look he had through it all. It was the most hurtful conversation we’ve ever had with each other. This time refusing his “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” stance and insisting he know everything. One choice seems unforgivably selfish and the other is unrealistically harsh. In the end I think it’s going to end up with me sacrificing my sexuality altogether or sacrificing my marriage and blowing the family apart. I agreed but only to be nice – that decision, I hope, I will make without his influence. He said he was willing to hit the pause button if I promised to discuss things with him before deciding if we were going to continue. I did the only thing I can do… told Alex I need time to sort this out with my husband a little more. The effects of the marijuana have faded but this feeling that I’ve failed myself remains. So the upshot is that it hit me pretty hard I have let myself become the sort of person who has affairs. Not a good idea considering my current circumstances. (We keep it on-hand in case my husband needs it for a condition he struggles with.) Marijuana gives me an odd transparency that my rationalizations and justifications cannot obscure. I got into the “Super Secret Marijuana Stash” after spending most of the day with Alex a few days ago. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |